Rules, benefits and risks: all you need to know about bondage | The USA Print

Originally, bondage was used in Japan by the military, we talk about bondage kinbaku : “It was a technique used in medieval times for the capture, torture and corporal punishment of prisoners” explains Milène Leroy.

With a repressive connotation, the practice gradually enters sexual mores to become a BDSM fantasy (Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS) and Sadism and Masochism (SM), source of pleasure. The latter, gradually called shibariimplies a submission-dominance relationshipin connection with a strong eroticism. “The idea being to attach those we love, those we want to highlight to exacerbate the common excitement as and when coating,” continues the sexologist.

“Although in recent years, thanks to the success of films and books like Fifty Shades of grey, sadomasochistic erotic games have become more democratic, even today they suffer from a pejorative connotation, insofar as they involve submission and physical pain” explains the sexologist. In this context, BDSM remains a trend that is still taboo and reserved for most libertine couples.

Bondage is not practiced in the same way in Japan and in the West. If both refer to the concept of constraint and erotic aestheticsthe Japanese version tends towards a form of massage which is similar to shiatsu, that is to say the stimulation of certain energy points. The tied person indeed takes pleasure thanks to the pressure exerted by the rope on certain points called tsubus: meeting places of blood vessels, lymphatics and glands of the endocrine system.

Japanese and Western bondage are also distinguishable by their technique : “The Japanese use few knots, whereas in the West the knots are integrated” completes Milène Leroy.

To intertwine its partner, traditional bondage favors ropes made of hemp, sufficiently long and thick. Conversely, bondage as we now understand it in the West calls on all kinds of coercion. A ribbon can very well act as a tie, just like a scarf, a string, stockings or even a simple adhesive tape, more or less tight according to the tolerance and the level of submission, envisaged by the lovers. Corsets, nipple clamps, whips, a pair of handcuffs, latex catsuits, penis cages, camisoles, hoods are other valid accessories.

Sexual practice for some, artistic discipline for others… bondage is a whole universe.

Bondage: from permission to restriction

• Artistic: the challenge is to create a painting. The subject is not tight but accessorized to allow the realization of a work.
• The search for sexual pleasure: the person is tied up, often completely naked, so as to have easy access to the sexual areas. The bonds are tight without pressure so that the pain does not come to thwart the rise of the excitement.
• The will to constrain: the freedom of movement is partially or totally constrained (certain areas are concerned, the upper or lower body). The use of furniture is common in the realization of the figures (table, chair…).
• The quest for humiliation: it is the chosen position that will bring this vision and this humiliating feeling. “The sex or the anus can be exposed, there is intromission of sex toys, transformation of the body into an object: coffee table…”, illustrates the sexologist.
• There voluntary search for pain: binding voluntarily causes intense pain. The bonds are extremely tight, the physical and emotional tension is supreme.

“Before starting the session, both partners should clearly define the limits of their consent: sexual relationship or not, suspension or not…” warns Milène Leroy.

There are several forms of bondage. Breast bondage made with harness-type ties, to be tied around the breasts. But also, bondage with anal hook, bondage in suspension which can for example be practiced using an erotic swing to be fixed to the ceiling.

The principle is simple: one partner attaches the other, so that certain movements remain hindered throughout the duration of the sexual relationship, and this until the possibility of psychic, emotional and/or physical enjoyment. “A blindfold is sometimes used to promote the stagingit protects from the gaze of the other while allowing him to develop his imagination in the face of the potential reaction of the spectator-dominant”, continues Milène Leroy.

“The person tied up is not just an object during this tying. She exerts on the⸱has such a strong magnetism that she becomes valued, desired. THE⸱a knotter is hypnotized by his muse. It is clear that in any “object-subject” relationship, it is good the object which decides, which gives, which authorizes… without it, osmosis does not take place and the practice has no meaning”, adds the sexologist.

Apart from the notion of consent, the notion of trust and the need for qualitative communication, there is no rules delineating age, gender or relationship or body type between individuals. “From the discovery stage to the feeling of being an expert in this movement, everyone is free to test and why not vibrate to the rhythm of experiences”, underlines Milène Leroy.

Far from simple shoe lacing, bondage requires that the partners remain attentive to each other throughout the session. In particular, it is necessary to:

• choose a safe word to say and a recognizable gesture to make to stop the erotic game if it exceeds your respective limits;
• keep a pair of scissors nearby to cut the ties in case of danger;
• never squeeze the neck, groin or armpits, three areas where the blood necessary to irrigate the heart circulates;
• never leave a person tied up unattended;
• not allowing any part of the body to become numb;
• no intake of alcohol or psychoactive substance inducing an alteration of the state of consciousness
• set a duration. Even if the practice assumes that the ⸱a model remains attached⸱e, ideally until orgasm, it is essential that the rigger remains attentive to his⸱a partner. The sex therapist adds: “After a bondage session, some people need time to come back to reality, the rigger will therefore have to accompany their partner very gently.”

Bondage can be a source of extreme enjoyment for followers of sadomasochism. But sex attached, under conditions softcan also appeal to lovers who are not used to indulging in BDSM games: “By upsetting their habits, they spice up their sexuality for more excitement and pleasure”, points out Milène Leroy.

She adds: “This art of domination, at first reserved for men, is attracting more and more women who are tackling it more today. Directing the staging, mastering the knots is a way of affirming know-how but also to reverse a macho trend“. Satisfying fantasies, making oneself and trusting the other, letting go by discovering oneself differently, multiplying the sensations of pleasure through pain… the advantages linked to the practice are multiple.

“However, beware of the excesses of bondage, because even if the experience is lived in a consented and peaceful way, its practice requires a certain experience and the dangers are very real”, recalls Milène Leroy. THE ties too tight, in the wrong place can be a source of unwanted pain and turn into trauma. Similarly, the tie passed around the neck can block breathing or blood flow and lead, in some cases, tostrangulation.

The partners must therefore remain attentive to each other throughout the sexual act and ensure that physical and mental integrityof the submissive person is good. “Do not take actions that could endanger your partner, the goal being to have fun, not to have an accident”, insists Milène Leroy.

Distrust also vis-à-vis the videos circulating on the internet. For the first time, why not go and get initiated in a specialized center, like the École des Cordes, among others. In addition to guiding you in a practice without danger, these structures will make it possible to apprehend this discipline in the rules of the art. The binding candle, the attachment to furniture… will then be child’s play.

All you have to do is get started… (or not)!