What they experienced Clara Rubio and Laura Horcajo, both 35 years old, 15 and 10 years ago respectively it was a double duel. to the pain of lose their mothers, The fact that the death of both was due to suicide. This shared history united clear already Laura to the point that both created, in 2012, the Catalan Association for the Prevention of Suicide. Clara is the president and Laura, the coordinator.
“I felt anger and guilt after my mother’s suicide”
Both, as survivors of suicide, offer from the entity a type of help that they did not find at the time, since suicide was then even more stigmatized than now. He Grieving the suicide of a loved one It is one of the most complex. And, in the middle, there is a large “forgotten” group: families. Not only the families of people who have committed suicide, but also those who are at risk, who are the ones it gives I support the association. A type of help that neither Clara nor Laura had at a time when suicide was even more silenced than now.
“I did not feel calm with the death of my mother, I felt anger. I was wondering why had he left me, if he didn’t realize how much he needed her. And I felt guilty,” says Laura. I was only 25 years old when his mother took her life. He suffered from schizophrenia, had had one “very complicated” life and had previously made other attempts. Laura remembers the stigma suffered. “The family didn’t say anything. When my mother was admitted for a crisis, everything was a secret.”
Help telephone numbers
He suicide have a multifactorial origin, not a single cause. It’s a death preventable and there are spaces where you can find help. Some free phones in case of suicidal behavior they are, in Catalonia, he 061 and, throughout Spain, he 024. He Barcelona’s town hall has a suicide hotline (900 925 555) that answers calls from other communities. The Telephone of Hope (717 003 717) also offers assistance.
This Sunday is celebrated World Suicide Prevention Day. In 2022, a total of 607 people took their lives in Catalonia, 5% more than 2021, according to the latest figures from the Ministry of Health. “The Suicide Prevention Plan of Catalonia (Plapresc) is a success, yes. But there is still a long way to go more link with entities and economic resources”, Both Clara and Laura disfigure the Administration.
“Years of suffering”
Clara’s situation was somewhat different from Laura’s. Her mother also carried “many years of suffering”, with various depressions, and had previously committed “many attempts.” But this woman did not fit into the canon. “She is [habla en presente de su madre] a feminist of the time, very oriented towards society, professional Proyect, to his friends. A woman who has traveled, interested in the world, an athlete. With economic capacity. Like a successful person, who has reached the standards of happiness, with children, commits suicide?” says Clara.
He recognizes that his mother’s death was a “release” because he understood that he had taken a path that allowed him stop suffering. “You don’t validate it, but you understand it,” Explain. Even so, at only 20 years old (the age he was when his mother took her life) he had to face Many questions and, also, to a social environment to which he gave “fear” and “shame” talk about what happened. “I didn’t know to what extent I could tell what happened.”
The association offers support to families whose children are at risk
However, neither she nor Laura ever hid the suicide from their mothers, but they quickly cut to those who try to know more. “He died by suicide and there is no further explanation,” Clara says that she responds when they ask her more than necessary. “I don’t want my mother’s main memory to be how she died. I want to remember everything he contributed, built and everything he fought for. And then, yes, he died in a few certain circumstances”, Add.
There are other things that are only understood with time. Now, 15 years later, Clara understands that her mother also suffered the entire gender bias of the time. Women, remember, commit the twice as many suicide attempts as men, although men commit suicide up to three times more than women. The man in general, experts explain, kill more: to other people, but also to himself. Is more violent.
“Live without anger”
The calm tone with which both Clara and Laura talk about their story is surprising. How do you live without anger? “Anger does not lead to finding solutions, nor answers. However, Well conveyed helps you see alternatives. I use it to communicate, reach more people and use it for an objective more linked to the common good,” says Clara.
We can all do prevention: “Just listen, don’t look away or feel ashamed”
From the association, both she and Lara do “a lot of contention.” Above all, they assist fathers and mothers whose children are at risk. “We try provide them with tools. And make them understand that, as a father or mother, you are not their psychologist. You must offer unconditional support and active listening”, they explain.
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Their activism has also led them to see things differently. “I have understood that we can all be prevention participants: just listen and don’t look the other way, nor feel ashamed,” Laura is sincere. She has also understood that her mother’s suffering was so big, that didn’t let him see absolutely nothing beyond that, not even that he had two children.
“For me it has come out more blame as a result of working with the association. I have seen the loneliness of many people up close. If I had known many things then, I think I would have contributed to improve your emotional well-being. I could have done better, but it’s something I know After all this work,” Clara concludes.
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